I've added some pics of my visit to Hume Lake Christian Camp in Fresno, California. I went on the behalf of Matt, my director. He visits annually to teach the Joshua Institute students. I followed just to learn. The Joshua Institute is a program that the Forge was semi-modeled after. However there are about 40 more students and the mean age is 18. The camp is beautiful, and the people are phenomenal. The Joshua is perfect for those going into college as to where the Forge is more suited for those coming out of college. But either are interchangeable. I loved the place and want to go back!


Hume Photo Album

I am not _________.

"A leader must know himself."

You have to ask yourself "Who am I?" and "What am I doing here?" Starting out in this program and looking back I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it meant to lead. Or at least I thought it to be a fairly basic concept, the only requirements being confidence and the ability to convince people. However I was sadly mistaken.

Within the first few weeks I could see that my identity was sitting on a foundation of sand. My director, Matt, who is inherently a mentor to all of us individually, nailed me the second week. In Matt and I's first office hour I didn't have much to say other than I just wanted to know, "How am I doing?" Meaning I wanted a benchmark for myself. Matt, who is gifted in discerning, could see straight through my question. And although I couldn't see it at the time, this was how I had created an identity for myself. By approval and comparison. Which in short means that the foundation of my identity was anything but solid. I saw this when all it took was a couple of questions to challenge me and my world was rocked.

And just to give an idea of what it means to not have a solid identity foundation, and before anyone rebukes by saying,"I know who I am," here's a real-life example. One of our teachers, who happens to be a licensed Texas counselor, told us this story.
A lady who had a child loved her son very much. He was her one and only. She would do almost everything within her power to provide for him. So as you can imagine she was very attached to the child. One day the child was in a car wreck and died. His mom, defining herself solely as a mother to this him, lost all meaning to life. Her world was devastated beyond normal grieving. Thankfully she received professional help before suicide became a reality.

Now that's an extreme case. But she isn't any less normal than rest of us. Especially in the culture we live in. I find myself investing more time in things that fade in no time rather than things that are eternal.

If I AM what I do (my career) or what I mean to someone else (son/friend/husband/father) what would happen to me if that title disappeared?


"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

So who am I and what in heck am I doing here?

Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary

Well the past two weeks have been nothing but interesting. I dare say that I've learned more about myself in these weeks than I have the entire time We've been here.

We've been traveling the past 7 days. We were in Dallas for 4 days and in Jefferson for 3. These are pictures from our visit to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

3rd trip!!

we've been in Dallas for the past 3 days. there's so much to talk about, but in a very, very small nutshell: we've visited 2 seminaries, served the homeless, and chilled with special needs adults. I will tell you more but right now it is late. Tomorrow perhaps...

looking back

a journal entry from October the 12th:


Our group just got back from a weeklong trip to Atlanta. There’s a conference that takes place there annually called Catalyst. It’s a leadership conference for Christian people leading in various capacities like full time ministry, business, missions, medical fields, and such. The idea behind the conference is that we would act like catalysts and start moving forward in spreading the Gospel. The theme this year was “Together.” Collectively from the speakers I gathered that the overall message was that as The Body of Christ, together, we can make things happen. Networking was also a huge deal. We heard from all kinds of speakers like Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler, Dave Ramsey, Jim Collins (“Good To Great”-a must read), Tim Sanders, Seth Godon, and plenty others. The conference was both eye opening and affirming. I know that business is my mission field and leading people in the light of Christ is what I’m called to do. I wish you all could have heard the speakers.

I have to run but I’ll leave you with this, a Dave Ramsey quote, “There’s only one way to penetrate the marketplace with Christianity and that is with extreme levels of excellence.”


The moment I think I have arrived at knowing all there is to know I have failed. Never stop dreaming. Never stop learning.

I want to apologize to all those whom I said that I was going to be keeping a blog and sending out a newsletter. It has been a tough ride thus far. However I'm going to do my best to catch y'all up in my next few posts as to what all has happen up until now.

I will say this though, the Forge has been everything except for what I had expected. For that I am grateful.

week nine

there are those who say Lord I'll go. there are those who say Lord, I'm scared. there are those say Lord, I'm inadequate. and there are those who say Lord, I'll go but I'm scared, inadequate, and full of shame.
but my Lord replies, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Grace...

just when I think I have all the puzzle pieces put together to make a beautiful picture my Lord shatters it into a million pieces saying to me "there, now maybe you can to see me." After being broken over and over, beaten with my own selfish pride I begin to understand just how much I need His grace. What is pride? I used to think there was only one shade. Apparently it comes in many shades- tailored to perfection by the enemy to manifest itself quietly into my character. Standing broken without answers before Him I come to a more accurate definition of myself.

Paul writes, "Because it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith; not by anything of your own, but by a gift from God; not by anything that you have done, so that nobody can claim the credit."

Brennan Manning quotes in his book, The Ragamuffin Gospel,"' The difference between faith as "belief in something that may or may not exist" and faith as "trusting in God" is enormous." The first is a matter of the head, the second a matter of the heart. The first can leave us unchanged; the second intrinsically brings change.'"



i move forward persistently in search of humility.

What an incredible experience I’ve had thus far at Mississippi State University! God has given me plenty of opportunities to grow and serve. Just last year I was serving on the Campus Crusade for Christ media team. This year I’ve been able to join a fraternity of Christian men, also know as, Brothers Under Christ. And all the while during the summers of my time in college the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to serve at Pine Cove Christian Camps in Tyler, Texas.

After much prayer and guidance the Lord has led me to my current areas of study: Finance and Economics. With these two majors and additional training I hope to become a leader in the mission field of business. I have come to know that the business world can be quite cutthroat, and respectable leaders are few and far between. As history has proved to show time and time again that the decisions of business leaders not only affect the firm and employees but the overall well being of an employee’s family.

The CEO of Pine Cove, Mario Zandstra, stated recently that “the future of ministry will not be limited by money or opportunity, but by the lack of leadership.” The Lord has put it on my heart to become a leader in this often over looked mission field. I desire to be a light, and lead those around me in way that brings Him the most glory. However, I have come to realize that maturity in Christian leadership cannot be found in a couple of books or a semester class.

The Lord has faithfully led me to a program at Pine Cove that desires to be the vessel in which the Lord will use to build those leaders. This 8-month program is called, the Forge. This upcoming fall and spring I will be joining the Forge class of 2009, which only consists of 16 men and women. Since the Forge only accepts a small number of students, I feel very blessed in having this opportunity. The Forge will provide an intense, challenging environment yielding a variety of opportunities for me to grow. For a more complete picture of the Forge, I encourage you to visit Pine Cove’s website at www.pinecove.com/forge.

"This not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

or

Is it just the beginning?