"A leader must know himself."
You have to ask yourself "Who am I?" and "What am I doing here?" Starting out in this program and looking back I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it meant to lead. Or at least I thought it to be a fairly basic concept, the only requirements being confidence and the ability to convince people. However I was sadly mistaken.
Within the first few weeks I could see that my identity was sitting on a foundation of sand. My director, Matt, who is inherently a mentor to all of us individually, nailed me the second week. In Matt and I's first office hour I didn't have much to say other than I just wanted to know, "How am I doing?" Meaning I wanted a benchmark for myself. Matt, who is gifted in discerning, could see straight through my question. And although I couldn't see it at the time, this was how I had created an identity for myself. By approval and comparison. Which in short means that the foundation of my identity was anything but solid. I saw this when all it took was a couple of questions to challenge me and my world was rocked.
And just to give an idea of what it means to not have a solid identity foundation, and before anyone rebukes by saying,"I know who I am," here's a real-life example. One of our teachers, who happens to be a licensed Texas counselor, told us this story.
A lady who had a child loved her son very much. He was her one and only. She would do almost everything within her power to provide for him. So as you can imagine she was very attached to the child. One day the child was in a car wreck and died. His mom, defining herself solely as a mother to this him, lost all meaning to life. Her world was devastated beyond normal grieving. Thankfully she received professional help before suicide became a reality.
Now that's an extreme case. But she isn't any less normal than rest of us. Especially in the culture we live in. I find myself investing more time in things that fade in no time rather than things that are eternal.
If I AM what I do (my career) or what I mean to someone else (son/friend/husband/father) what would happen to me if that title disappeared?
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2
So who am I and what in heck am I doing here?
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2 comments:
You are the "light of the world", You are the "Salt of the Earth", You are a "child of God" but most of all you are His.
Dude it is nice to hear that God is breaking you of you and is making you into more of Him. Losing what we call "ourselves" is one of the biggest lessons in humility, in life, and in our walk with God that we will ever learn.... and we will learn it everyday!
Because honestly.... this life is all about Him.... we aren't even supporting actors.... we are more like the guys that walk around in the background on cellphones that are faking actually acting... i think they are called extras.... we are nothing more than extras.
So I leave you with this charge brother.... quit trying to play lead or supporting actor or even trying to have a part in the move or in this life... but allow God to put you into the place He wants you... which will most likely be an extra. A very hard and harsh reality... but i assure you this is a truth and a reality.
Be blessed man. Keep on updating us. I really enjoy hearing what God is doing in and through you.
Adam, man I see so much of myself in that description as well. Thinking that my successes in everything are simply based upon some type of comparison is such a false reality, yet it's what we're taught in this world and it's so much easier to say "yeah, that's me" than it is to change/work on it. I can't convey how excited I am for you Adam, but keep seeking Him. I also have that verse on a sticky note by my door so I see it every day, such insight. Peace brother
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